It marks a profound, though bittersweet milestone for me as i bear witness to both the beginning and the end. And while i must continue, I must also be grateful to have been blessed with someone who has ably guided me to where I am today.

When there is so much love and happiness for someone, it is natural to be reluctant to close this wonderful chapter in my life. For moving forward, it is rarely accomplish with much grief and sadness.

And while my sorrow may be profound, the clouds will clear, and the sun will shine on me again. And in that warm, bright light, i will find myself facing a glorious future. A future of exciting challenges and infinite possibility in which the horizon will stretch out before me, rimmed in the heavenly glow of the sunrise of my tomorrow.

Been very busy
Am very busy
Will be very busy

will do a proper update when im less busy
sori for t sleeping blog
&
stupid post

stats quiz 2mw
psych to hand in to jason 2mw
>.<

Hmm, dont know why im blogging. I hv work to do actually. Haha. Where cans we starts? Friday? Shopping with ben, jenn & christine for christine & jenn's prom dress. We went from shop to shop @ bangsar. Walked in almost every single shop that sells prom dresses. o.O There are so many okayy. Almost every shop they went to they tried at least 2 dresses. And TOOK PHOTOS. o.O

I admire ben's patience. He followed us to every single shop and sat there quietly. And everytime jenn tried a dress he'd either nod his head in approval, go like WOW or jaw drop or shake his head in disapproval. Like aww.....so sweet....she had her bf to teman her shopping & help her choose her dress, take photos fer her etc etc etc. Then after a while whn ben got tired, he slept while they chose dresses. Haha.

And what was i doin there? Helpin christine wear her dress whn t designs were weird or t zips didn't work well. And after they manage to get dressed, i'd tell em if t dress was a pass or fail. Oh and i had to take high heels fer these womans to match w t dress so dat dey can see wad dey looked like w heels. =.=" But it was darn fun. I mean, since i d bought my dress no harm helping em rite. It kindda felt like we had an unlimited budget and we were choosing wedding dresses! After a while i got tired of teman-ing em all t way to t dressing rooms so i just sat on t sofa w ben and wait fer em to come out w t dress. Haha!

I totally understand what ash felt like whn she had to teman me. But i only took a few hrs to choose my dress. I teman-ed christine & jenn frm like 3 - 7.45pm and we went to so many shops, walked up so many stairs and dey still wanted to go to curve to see more! Hahaha. I guess i decided quite fast cuz as much as i like window shopping i dislike spending money and hving to try on so many dresses. I find it tiring. Haha. But wad jenn and christine did is norm la. I mean, ure d payin so much u may as well get something u really like rite. We hvn gone shopping as a grp of girls before so the experience was really awesome. We should do that more often but i will not bring my wallet so i wont buy dresses whn i know i dont need em. Hehe. Mmh, it was really fun la. One of t happiest days of my life since t break up. =)

Oh yea, in the midst of being their fashion critic, i bought me a pink dress. No pics of it till my burfday so it wont be so potong stim. Hehe. If my mum finds out i spent RM 75 on it im so dead. It took jenn and christine quite a while to convince me to buy dat dress. And im officially broke. Ball ticket + ball dress + burfday dress + movies + rock climbing = BROKE. Haha. No pics of any of t dresses dat christine & jenn tried till after prom too.

What else? Annual Ball's in 4 days? Wonder wad it'll b like. I don't know whether im excited or nervous or no feeling. I think im excited + nervous. I mean, im excited cuz like t committee put in effort and all so yea, its like finally ure seeing t work of your hands. Nervous cuz ure afraid it may nt meet ur expectations or it u may nt be ready emotionally fer another of those bringing-back-the-memories-events. Ok la, i think i'll probably be too bz to feel emo oso. Im just being paranoid as usual rite? Rite. Haha.

Omg! good thing i didnt see any dress dat i like whn i went shopping w jenn & christine! If nt i would regret payin RM 200 fer my dress. Ok la, there was a dress that i really liked but it was RM 250. So, dont bother thinking. Im nt payin fer dat. Haha. So yea, im contented w mine. =) Mmmh, check list:

1. dress - check
2. shoes - check
3. make up - im leaving this to dila's hands
4. hair - im leaving this to ash's hands
5. accesories - can i not wear any?
6. contact lenses - nah

All dis make up & hair do is nt my kindda ting...so yea, if my kakak's insist i must hv it done, i'll just leave it to em. DON'T MAKE A DOLL OUTTA ME AH! I HATE MAKE UP! I ONLY WANT A BIT IF U HAVE TO MAKE ME WEAR ANY! =P I look better in contact lenses but...nah....i don't spend my money on being vain. I'd rather spend it on like movies, rock climbing, food or ok la, a nice dress whn i need one. Haha.

Gah, im having a headache and a flu so i will stop here, do some assignments then head of to bed. Take cares all of you!

Hei all,

Reporting frm my granma's hse. I twitted yest dat i wud run away 2day. And so yea, i ran away to granma's hse. Good food, good internet, astro and peace. Ahh, just wad i need. I actually managed to get sum studying done. Erh, developmental psych. Yea, dats what i studied. Read thru dat bcuz my reflective writing 2 is basically on adolescents' development and all dat psychobabble. I dont kno why, but today seems to be passing so slow. I played so many beejwelled & plock games and whn i look at t clock its only 10pm.

Well, honestly im really enjoyin myself away frm home. Tho i miss my soft toys a lot. Oh tok abt soft toys, gary i 4got to tell you dat day, whn we were discussin t remants of memories of our relationship, im still hving dat doggy with t hooddiee that u gave me for my burfday. Its still on my bed. LOL! i think its so funii dat we actually were laughin at t memories. All t silly things we did cuz we were so young and barely knew wad love was rite?

I GOT FULL MARKS FOR MY H&T MIDTERMS PAPER!!!! *screams* Haha. When Dr. Simic displayed the results i almost fainted. I tot id get 1 or 2 wrong. Hehe. I was like so hapii. I haven't presented tho. So i hope i'll do well fer my presentation. I really love H&T. I mean if i had t money to do a deg in H&T for fun on top of psych i wud. But for practical purposes im sticking to psych only. Anyways, i don't think t real working life of H&T suites me. I dont think i'll enjoy serving ppl 24/7. Whether you're in good mood or not, you hv to ensure u make ur guest hapii. Nt my kindda ting i guess. But t practical and theory of it like beverage studies, baking etc is really fun and interesting.

Midterms are like just over and lecturers are already talkin abt finals. Gahh, me no likes. And gosh t amount of assignments pilling are....indescribable. I hope i can finish reflective writing 2 2mw so i can concentrate on PDP. Stats quiz is in 2 wks time *groans* I just suck at math lah...duno why. Haha.

Can you believe it, ball's only like abt 1 week away! I dont know why im feeling excited...but yea, i am. Haha. I spent RM 310 just for 1 ball. =.=" RM 110 for ticket and RM 200 for dress. Gah, i feel broke....haha. I intend to ask dad for money as my b'day & xmes pressie. And im gonna use t money to do my basic wall course.

Sigh i hv so many things on my wish list.....

1. basic wall course
2. new handphone
3. new lappie
4. grand piano
5. contact lenses
6. delicious food (spaghetti, sushi, pizza, etc etc etc)
7. i-cant-remember-the-rest

but i hv no money for all of dat... LOL! ok maybe i hv money fer yummy fud cuz my new found eating habits seem to be saving me some money. Haha. I shud get a job....but my parents dont allow. Grr, controlling parents!

Mmh, eating ferrero rochea at t moment. Had peanut butter choc sandwich earlier. Do you guys feel more hungwee whn u study? cuz dat seems to b t case for me. So im wondering if its just psychological or if it does really hv a correlation to studying.

Oh ya, frm 2mw onwards i get t car...and i'll b driving myself everywhr. Im hapii cuz dis means i get a lil more freedom. Unfortunately, im nt in good terms w directions. I want a Mindy but dad doesn wanna get me one. =/

Oh well, i cnt really think of anything else to post at t moment so i'll stop here. Take care all of you and thank you once again all of you who make me smile everyday. =)


theoneandonlyawesomeness,
pauu

Don't know why im blogging whn i hv so much work to do. All i kno is im damn pissed at my mum. Wait why do i even call her mum. Blueks. Dat woman in t hse that screams her head off when she doesnt get her way. Mum, i dont care if u ever read dis. In ur face. It wont make any diff to me anymore if u scream ur head of cuz now i kno that you dont love me and that i cannot trust you.

I just wanna move out of this damn hse. I dont need you. You never showed interest in my life. Stop bothering me. You dont care abt how i feel, you dont care abt t ppl i love, you dont care abt my friends, you hv no interest in seeing my boyfriend even if i hv one, u tell me to break up if you find out i hv one, you force me to go to church when i dont even feel like a christian, you say yes then change your mind the nxt minute, you fight w dad, you always manipulate dad to side you even though im right. You dont care abt t tings i love.

There is no diff whether or not ure in my life. You can cook. So wad? I can cook too. You can drive. So wad? I can drive too. You can clean t hse. So wad? I can clean t hse too. So, let me live alone somewhere else whr i wouldn't hv to see ur face.

All you care abt is ur damn face, having ur way and ur 'angelic' 2nd daughter. You know wad, i dont even feel like i hv a mum. All you care about is dat i do t hsework so you can go out all day. You dont even work, ure nt even giving me pocket money. Dad's t 1 working. So wad are u complaining about. Stop sitting at home and developing ocd's w ur hse lah.

Just.....just....just leave me alone! Dont pretend to love me when you urself said you dont love me. And im not trusting you anymore! Get out of my life pls and thank you!

____________

Omigosh!

So long since Jane last blogged.

Just SUCK IT UP jane

MOVE ON WITH LIFE!

STOP WISHING, HOPING and WAITING

STOP LIVING in DENIAL

Stop the flowing MEMORIES

Face REALITY no matter how hard it is

Learn to LOVE WITHOUT being EMO

Whatever makes him happy will make you HAPPY cuz you love him

You will accept whatever he feels is BEST for him because you love him

Just STOP feeling all this crap and shit

Cuz its NOT gonna CHANGE anything

*screams*

ok, time to go to bed

sori every1 for this pathetic post

i just needed to let it out this once

IM NOT EMO!

XD